Monday, September 10, 2012

Five Things I've Learned from Financial Institutions

As I may or may not have mentioned previously, I work at a financial institution. The things that I have been learning from this position are generally, but not always, related to financing.

1) Boogers are not an acceptable form of currency. Judging from the number of people who include them with their deposits, this is not common knowledge.

2) Strippers make their boyfriends bring in their piles of one dollar bills. Why said strippers never bother to face the bills, thus making the transaction as fast as possible, is beyond me. Apparently they're too embarrassed to bring their earnings in, but even they don't like handling that crap.

3) The general population thinks nothing of bringing their dogs in, leashed or otherwise. This also stands true for the full-blooded wolf that someone decided to bring to my station recently (no leash, I might add). Our entire branch is now aware that wild animals and their "owners" are to be kept away from me.

4) If you're too embarrassed to spend your money, we don't want it either. This means you, person whose cat peed on a pile of bills. The fact that you tried to wash them before bringing them in didn't help, and the fact that you neglected to tell me why you tried to wash them until I had them in my hand is reprehensible. Angry and covered in cat pee is not how you want someone to be helping you.

5) If you're under the age of 30, it is highly likely that you believe you have a checkings account. People over the age of 30 find this laughable, and promptly request access to their safety deposit box. Heaven help them. Or me. I'm honestly not sure who needs it more at this point...

"Money is neither my god nor my devil. It is a form of energy that tends to make us more of who we already are, whether it's greedy or loving."
Dan Millman

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