An Ode to Daylight Savings

And Mother of the Year Goes To...

Anyone but me.

Seriously, no one mentions how quickly motherhood can make you feel like a failure. Having nurtured my own worst critic for years, I'm trying to make sure I am a cheerleader for myself instead by finding the positive side of things. For example: Cleaning Jr's nose, which is always a battle, ended with a booger landing in his mouth. And he promptly swallowed before I could grab it. On the positive side, his nose is clean and he found my gagging/dry heaves hilarious.

Obsession of the Week:
I found THE most amazing app last week! It's called Our Groceries and it is a game changer. No more phone calls back and forth to make sure that everything is on the grocery list and no more forgetting the list at home. More efficiency, better communication, more time! The app is easily linked to smartphones and tablets, so everyone has access to the same list.

December Snapshots
1) View

The Christmas decor I've been enjoying all month!

2) Happy

Most days this kid is the happiest person I know.
(He's laughing because he found the cat behind him.)

3) Balance

Taking on a whole new meaning around here...

4) Wear

I didn't buy a single thing for myself this month, can you believe it?
So here is Jr in a TMNT hat.

5) Love

My sister, the Queen of Random Nice Gestures.

6) Everyday

Into everything all day, every day.

7) Eat

I've discovered squash "noodles" and they are amazing!

8) Project

The annual spice drawer purge and label.

9) Habit

Sneaking in for "just one more" look.

10) Favorite

This little face, even if it is 4am.

"We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential."
Ellen Goodman

Expectation vs. Reality

Well, here we are three months into life with a baby. It's been wonderful, challenging, confusing, terrifying, and amazing - and that was just today. Life is nowhere near what I anticipated it would be, and getting up close and personal with the unpredictability has illustrated a few chasms between my expectations and reality. Some good differences, some not so good, but all providing an opportunity to practice flexibility, which I've been told will come in handy later on.

The short version of our birth story is that my water broke without starting labor and I had to be induced. 32-ish hours later I was ready to start pushing and did so for three hours, making exactly zero progress. From there we went into an unplanned c-section and finally got to meet our son. We went home from the hospital after three days, and on day nine I was readmitted with an infection that had caused an abscess at the incision site. Following that was eight weeks of "wound care" visits multiple times per week, one UTI, six bouts of mastitis, and nine rounds of antibiotics. Thankfully, my wonderful mother was willing and able to stay with us for the first month and helped us figure out how to function among the challenges that were thrown our way.

Contractions
Expectation: They hurt and you breathe through them; painful, but doable.
Reality: Mother of Troy, those suckers are brutal. While I wasn't shouting obscenities the entire time or screaming for drugs, I have no idea how women do natural birth, especially with back labor. In hindsight though, I would take contractions over the first month of wound care appointments any day.

Epidurals
Expectation: They take the edge off, but you can still function.
Reality: The epidural took away a lot more sensation than I anticipated, but considering the alternative (and that I actively pushed for three long hours) it was still a good choice. Complications with Jr kept me exclusively on my back and right side, which meant that I had no feeling on the right and quite a bit of feeling on the left as epidurals apparently follow gravity.

C-Section
Expectation: None, as neither my doctor or I had anticipated the need for one.
Reality: They really suck. For me, it was a rough experience. I ended up incredibly groggy when Jr was born and don't remember a whole lot, which is frustrating. The only vivid recollections I have are being cold and feeling uneasy holding him afterwards as I couldn't control my hands.

Labor in General
Expectation: An exhausting but "normal" birth experience without surgical intervention and where any complications would be minor.
Reality: The labor and birth processes were vastly different than I anticipated. While many aspects still hold some disappointment, all that matters in the end is that we have a beautiful, healthy baby boy.

Bonding
Expectation: It feels strange to admit, but I didn't expect to have an instant bond with Jr. I figured it would take time to get to know this new little person, but that the bond would grow relatively quickly once we brought him home.
Reality: I was completely in love with him as soon as I was capable of coherent thought after surgery. And with that came the intense fear that something might happen to him, along with a how-can-I-protect-him-from-everything panic.

Diapers
Expectation: We would seamlessly transition to cloth diapers as soon as we arrived home from the hospital, keeping Jr's tender skin irritation-free while simultaneously saving money and the environment.
Reality: HA! Thanks to being on antibiotics for the first two months of Jr's life, we were constantly fighting yeast-based diaper rash. Cloth diapers were put on hold due to the fact that yeast will grow in the diaper inserts, heavy duty diaper cream (zinc oxide based) will ruin cloth diapers, and I have no interest in taking on optional challenges until things settle down.

Nursing
Expectation: The beginning would be challenging, but after sticking it out for a few weeks, things would progressively become easier.
Reality: The beginning was rough and we had to supplement with formula - not what I wanted at all, but necessary for a while. There was a period of about three weeks where we were the poster-child for success. And then it all went to crap (thank you, mastitis and baby reflux) and we are still trying to recover.

Sleeping
Expectation: Up at all hours, a decent night of sleep will become a pipe dream.
Reality: I do miss sleeping past 7am, but it hasn't been that bad. The first two weeks were tiring since we were up every two or three hours, but things settled into somewhat of a routine fairly quickly. Currently we are working a two hour schedule during the day with one nighttime feeding between 3am and 5am.

Meals
Expectation: Resign yourself to cold food as you will never have an uninterrupted meal.
Reality: This one is true. Most of my meals are punctuated by feeding, diapering, or soothing and I eventually return to lukewarm food. It's a bit depressing, but I've switched to salads since they taste better cold.

Grooming
Expectation: You'll rarely shower or brush your teeth. Spit up will be a normal addition to your clothes and you'll be too tired to change.
Reality: Showers and tooth brushing don't always happen on time, but most of the time showers happen before noon and I still brush three times a day. Spit up is sneaky, but it's not usually too hard to notice and clothes are changed right away. Milk stains, on the other hand, are a routine part of my wardrobe. Not ideal, but I don't have enough clothes to accommodate eight outfits per day.

Personal Time
Expectation: Little to none without hiring a babysitter.
Reality: Chris and I have been making it a priority to ensure that we each have some time off from baby duty a few times a week. Additionally, the grandparents have been incredibly helpful in watching him when I have appointments - I'm fairly certain they like it though.

Appearance
Expectation: Most of the baby weight would come off in the first six months, but the last few pounds would be a battle royal.
Reality: The one fight I expected is the only one that didn't happen. The baby weight (and some friends) left without effort. My shape, however, is completely different than what it was.

Chillin'

"Mom, I do not find your buffoonery amusing."

Ready to ride.

We get SO excited in the monkey seat.

Nap Central. If only I could sleep as well...

There you have it - the good, the bad, and the impossibly cute.

"Life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride."
Gary Allan

The Things No One Tells You...

Fair warning: This post does reference the logistics of feeding a newborn.

Jr and I have been working towards becoming a self-sufficient team, which isn't as easy as I expected since we're dealing with a c-section recovery, "Bob" the ever-present and highly annoying wound vac pump, persistently high pain levels, and medications galore to be balanced and administered. Little by little we are making progress, except for those nights where the stars align against us.

Having always been an easily disoriented person during nighttime wakings, it's been a bit of a challenge to handle the "usual" nursing/pumping stints throughout the night in addition to the various (and rather confusing) medication doses. 

Feeling particularly ambitious during a 3am pump, I decided to quietly go it alone and let the rest of the crew catch up on some much needed sleep. Having successfully gathered my supplies, I was sitting in semidarkness listening to the soft whoosh of the machine and feeling rather proud of my accomplishment when I slowly became aware of a distinct sensation  - the horrifying feeling of something crawling on my arm. I carefully turned to look, praying that it was just my own hair brushing my arm, and saw the unmistakable shape of a creepy crawly making it's way up to my jugular shoulder. Mustering what calm I could, I issued a few shrieking whispers in a desperate attempt to raise Chris without waking Jr. Quickly realizing that I was on my own, I abandoned any pretense of restraint and began flailing wildly with utter disregard for the 20 minutes worth of work that was now baptizing the general vicinity.

In the end, my jugular remained intact, the spider got away, most of the baby libations were saved, and Chris and Jr remained in dreamland blissfully unaware of the maelstrom while I dragged my befuddled and milk-stained self back into bed. Somehow all of my research and baby books failed to prepare me for this type of scenario...

"People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one."
Leo J. Burke

The Beat Goes On

Life has kept me hopping lately - no rest for the wicked I guess. I worked the closing shift for most of last week, which meant that I got to experience the frustration joy of being delayed by last-minute customers nearly every day. We actually got out of the office on time Saturday, and I went home for about an hour before heading off to book club. 

Oh yeah, I joined a book club. And consequently discovered that, either due to the higher elevation or the fact that I really haven't drank for six months or so, alcohol affects me way differently than it used to. "Your body can process one drink an hour" no longer applies to this girl. Lesson learned.

Book club adjourned after discussing The Hunger Games (which was fantastic), and we headed to a bar to listen to our host's boyfriends' band play their very last gig. The notable thing about this was that the bar happened to be located in the Bermuda Triangle of downtown. This area of downtown has boggled my mind since we moved to Boise. I can't really explain why it confuses me, other than the fact that it's almost like a town within a town and I never go there alone since I'm 98% certain that I would never make it back out. Add in the issue of overly-potent alcohol and I was hopelessly lost - at which point I phoned home for an emergency extraction and called it a night.

On Sunday we hosted a BBQ with friends, and Monday evening saw me heading to softball practice since I decided to join a team through work. I warned the team captain before I signed up that my only experience with the game was making daisy chains in the outfield during T-ball; we were both relieved to discover that I am apparently capable of functioning on the field and at bat. We have a great group of people on the team so it should be a fun experience.

Soaking up some rays 

We also met a few more of the neighbors last weekend. Unfortunately some of these relationships are off to a rocky start...

"What ever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it."

- Eckhart Tolle

Five Things I've Learned From Horror Movies

I readily admit to being a horror movie fiend. The buildup of suspense, the eerie music and vague imagery...I love it. Chris does not share my affinity for the genre, but he's generally a good sport about it. We watched our first horror movie in months on Saturday night. The trailer made it seem like the movie we chose had potential, but "Don't be Afraid of the Dark" was not even mildly creepy. Such a let down.

The important thing is that I've gathered critical survival tips from these movies:

 5) If you find yourself in a horror movie scenario, never take a bath or shower.

4) Never volunteer to investigate the weird noises coming from outside.

3) Never volunteer to investigate weird noises, period.
(This also happens to be my philosophy for everyday life.)

2) Always carry matches. They work as well (or better) than a 75 watt light bulb.

1) Never, ever utter the words, "I'll be right back." Guaranteed death sentence.

In other words: I will be unshowered, armed with flammables, and refusing to answer the door. You've been warned.

What? You don't watch movies with your pets?

Obsession of the week: Instagram
This photo editing and sharing app is phenomenal. Easy to use, fun filters/effects that give your photos a retro feel, and you can either take photos through the app or use ones already on your camera roll.

Lettuce Pray

We tried to try a new church last Sunday. Yes, you read that correctly. And we quickly discovered that neither of us were prepared for the type of church we visited drove by.

The first thing that got our attention were the waving hands, but not the ones we expected to find at a church. These hands were connected to the traffic directors, in neon vests, complete with the traffic wands you expect to see at an airport. Not that there's anything wrong with that in and of itself, but combined with an extensive line out the front doors it was more reminiscent of concert than the type of church that we usually attend. But in their defense, that particular church is supposed to have an amazing worship service. Wait a minute...

In other news, I officially adore the weather here! The daytime highs haven't dipped below 75* since we moved, and it has only rained once!! I'm sure I'll miss the rain eventu...hahaha, I almost said it with a straight face.